Kelly is not a pufferfish. (See below.)

She does however bear a striking resemblance after she has her bath. I'm still learning to anticipate when she'll attempt her impersonation. I'll get you a picture as soon as I wring the water out of the camera.

It would seem my credit union has a new security measure in place for safe access to your personal information on their website. After inputing your UserID, you click Login and get this:

"The picture and text below is your CUOnline secret PassMark. We will show you this before asking for your password every time you login. When you see this PassMark, you can be sure that you are at the genuine Stanford Federal Credit Union CUOnline".

Now click on the picture below to see what I saw...

My `PassMark' is a picture of tropical fruit...How appropos. My brain farts trying to wrap around how `Smart Truck' fits in with their Big Brother-esque Psychic Eye view into my personal life, but hey? braaaap. Excuse me - brain fart.

Blessed be. Kelly's results are negative.
Here's to the next 60 years, baby...

To have a dream that your bird is frolicking with a macaw in a big cage, playing with toys, preening each other, having a grand old time...on the same day you're likely to hear back from the Vet if that could ever safely happen...

Ug. Hope that can happen some day.

Of course, the latter part of the dream, that which bubbled from the primordial soup comprising the reptilian portion of my brain, produced a short storyline of Kelly laying a perfect white egg. Which before my eyes slowly turned into a small white poodle. Replete with little blue bow. Curse you Mother.

Kelly's 10-day stint of antibiotics has passed, and oddly enough, even after the tension and worry that came when I first heard they were necessary, I miss them. Kelly will, too. Dr. Sanders looked at me askance when I said Kelly adored the peanut-flavored Cipro. I think he may now think what most Vets who've seen Kelly come to think - she's nuts (for an Amazon.) The peanut flavoring makes Cipro nearly tolerable for most birds, but Kelly regressed and yearned for it when she was in burrito-form.

A benefit to the experience for she and I is that Kelly is no longer even remotely concerned about being toweled any longer, by me. A bird-behaviorist whom I'm reading these days says it's a healthy practice to continue to perpetuate a healthy bond, and to keep Kelly prepared should quick/emergency toweling be necessary. And she's just so damned cute when wrapped up. She lets me rub her belly and her head, and she's limp for a little while (under 30 seconds). I'm going to see if I can increase that time; see if she'll accept it as a playing scenario.

I should hear from the vet sometime today, or through Wednesday, about her blood test results. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to react.

Love and light...

Fresh in from the vet. Kelly has dropped 18 grams in weight (down from 478 to 460). This is good progress, according to Dr. Sanders, and only after 2 weeks. Her goal weight? 430 grams. I dare you to convert that into ounces and be amazed at the evolution of hollow bones....

Tonight a blood sample was taken to check for Pacheco's Virus. Pacheco's is a herpes-type virus that birds can carry, or succumb to very quickly. I'm still fuzzy on why it's either one way or the other, but it's been years since my virology lessons. I'll have the results come early next week, and I'm taming my emotions until then. Life is about today.

If it turns out Kelly has Pacheco's, in essence, it will be like having a bird with HIV. She appears healthy, acts healthy, and is healthy, but she's still got a virus that can slowly pick away at her if her immune system is compromised by another factor. Pacheco's can then flare up, much like an opportunistic infection, causing more serious issues. If she develops any other type of health issue in the future, we will have to pay closer attention to it, take it a little more seriously, get it dealt with quickly, decisively, and with great care. It's also excellent information to be armed with, her negative or positive status (as it were). Pacheco's is deadly to other birds. They could succumb within days.

If positive, Kelly will be forced to live out her days in avian isolation. This isn't too far off the mark of her daily lifestyle, but you can still empathize, I'm sure, with the idea that the option of socializing Kelly in the future is forever gone. The more heart wrenching issue is that her life-expectency is about halved. Living in ignorance these last 15 years, I believed Kelly's expected life span would be around 30 years. I learned at the vet 2 weeks ago that without Pachecho's virus as a factor, it could easily be 60-80. Now, we're back down to 30, and if her health remains pristine.

It's difficult to think about it now, much less desribe it. Tonight I told the Vet I didn't want to ask any serious questions about Pacheco's until it was 100% confirmed my baby was carrying it. But then, being the data whore I can be, I asked them anyway, and you've read what he told me already.

If you have a candle, or a moment to project your energy, please join me and mine. It would be so lovely to grow old with a little bundle of unpredictable green feathers on my shoulder.

oh shit....I shouldn't have written that...

I've been weight training this month, and came off of counting points via weight watchers. The result? I'm up 2 pounds this month, but my body feels great. Not only have I increase my exercise, but Duane and I have been eating very heathfully. Every time in the past I've started back into weight training, there's a period where I put on a pound or two or even three, most likely due to water retention in the muscles. I've not been counting points, and I've noticed I'm eating more than I did while counting, but the foods have been healthier.

Summation: the extra pounds could be from weight training, or that I'm eating a little too much. Either way, I can still modify the workouts to incorporate more cardio, and reduce the quantities I eat. Let's see what happens by the New Moon in roughly 2 weeks, and more importantly, what happens at the next Full.

Kelly sat on the floor and watched me put the towel over her. Didn't even take a step, or turn her head to watch me. She sat there until I picked her up. I didn't even have to lightly grip her. She just muttered at me until I uncovered her beak, didn't gnaw on the towel. She reached for the syringe and looked like a baby chick. awwww

She's not taking to her "glop" as quickly as I'd like, but I'm a patient, patient, patient man. I need to fiddle with the recipe. Perhaps she'll like it drier? She reaches for the dry pasta bits when she sees them, but ignores the toast — which is freakin my shit out — but it's moist with nf yogurt and carrot baby food. Like I said, drier maybe?

Backstory, Feb 11th:
—1st appointment with Dr. Sanders at Wildwood Veterinary
—Appt made after Kellyh's willfulness, moodiness, and biting gets to be too much. Her wings are grown out, and her beak and nails need a trim.
—Kelly climbs into her carrier box very happily at 3:30.
—For the first time in her life, Kelly will not come out of her carrier after a car ride. (Normal behavior is to climb out willinglingly) and bites me twice in quick succession when I finally get her out.
—Much of my avian knowledge has grown out of date, and now school's in session. She is now bathed thoroughly every day, and I'm starting the long process of altering her diet for a healthier one; she's 10% overweight. No more nuts as a dailiy thing, no more corn, peas, apples. 90% of her diet should be her pellets, and the remaining 10% should consist of high Vitamin A content foods like sweet potato, squash, carrots, green leafy vegetables, peaches, dried apricots. Other good things: whole wheat (no sugar) breads, almonds and pistachios in limited quantities (these are high vitamin A, too). Also have to increase her exercise level, promoting wing-flapping, climbing, etc.

Backstory, Feb 16th: Blood test results come in
—Kelly's WBC and Lymphocyte count are slightly high as a result of contracting 3 strains of bacteria normal in humans, not to birds, all treatable with antibiotics. Exhibited by a redness in her throat.
—Kelly has an appointment 2/23 for another blood test to test for Pacheco's virus.

Backstory, Feb 2/17: Antibiotics
—Not since Kelly was 1 or 2 has she had an infection that requires antibotics, and I'm concerned how she'll take the 2x/day toweling required to administer them. I pick up the antibiotics (Cipro) from the vet 2/17 evening after work, and buy Sally Blanchard's Companion Parrot Handbook and The Beak Book, to get a handle on dealing with Kelly's new biting behavior. I've grown apprehensive picking her up over the last few weeks.
—On the way home, I buy two brand new, pale yellow towels to be Kelly's alone.
—After a quick scan of both books, I learn that toweling a bird should be a very common practice, not only to increase the bond between Kel and I, but to make her less apprehensive of the toweling in the future if it becomes necessary in an emergency.
—I put one towel on the floor, and one nearby, prepare Kelly's syringe of antibiotics, and have an almond treat nearby. She runs from the towel as I raise it, but when I drape it over her, she freezes and listens to me talking to her. I flip her on her back and build a "parrot burrito", expose her beak, and start dripping the peanut-flavored antibiotic into her mouth. She's not happy.
—She nips once this evening. I yell and drop her, but quickly pick her up using soothing tones and not giving her what she wans: me to leave her alone.

Backstory, Feb 18th:
—Kelly has taken to toweling quickly. She's actually anticipating and looking forward to the flavored antibioitics, and her almond treat. She's not struggling in the towel at all, and is stepping up on my hand easily and readily before and after.

Backstory, Feb19th:
—Spending the day away in Sacramento this Saturday for June's birthday. Kelly take her antibiotics very well this morning. And again that evening. She has a great day with Duane.

I'm going to start a bird diary here. Kelly and I are going through some major diet, behavioral, relationship changes — all geared towards the better good — but these changes will take patience, emotional calm 24/7, and profound consistency. It's something I need to track, so check back if you want to keep updated with the details. Please comment if anyone is an avian afficianado or plain old bird lover.

In a nutshell: I've been learning hard and fast in the last 2 weeks about psittacines, and myself, and have learned some basics to deal with the culmination of Kelly's long-developed negative behaviors. (They're my fault, 100%, and if you want to know why, let's talk!) It's complicated by some health issues she's devoped (read on for details), but in the long run, Kelly and I will be just like the old buddies we were. Time is a luxury she and I both have. She could easily outlive me after all ;)

In a nutshell:
—Kelly has a bacterial infection in her throat (aka sore throat caused by common human cold bacterias; neither D or I knew we were fighting one off!) and is now enjoying morning and evening antibiotic doses. Recipe: make a bird burrito with large soft towel and an unhappy parrot, take prepared syringe containing 0.1cc of Cipro, squirt miniscule amount of peanut-flavored goo into side of mouth, release bird, spritz with water, and provide almond as treat. Phew. Did she bite me this time? Does she hate me now? *rolls eyes*

Next week: Wednesday evening we go back for more blood tests. There's a possibility she's carrying, but not suffering from, Pacheco's Virus, a dangerous bird disease. I nearly cried on the phone when the Vet Tech was reading the doctor's notes to me over the phone. Kelly's never been exposed to other birds in her 15.5 years, so they tell me it must have come from the pet store from which I adopted her. Sharon Heights Pet Store in Menlo Park. The Vet and his tech's practically gasped when they heard she originated there. It seems within a year or two after I adopted Kelly Wildwood Hospital, the SPCA, and various other Vets in the area pooled their efforts and had the place shut down for various reasons ranging from neglectful husbandry, birds dying of diseases, etc. Sigh. It seems I saved Kelly from death when she was but 10 months old, and didn't even know I was doing it.... The Universe. It's cogs are mighty and mysterious.

Since I've stopped counting points, and have been focusing more on high nutrition foods in healthy portions, I find myself still cautious about my food selections. Good habits built from point-counting days go a long way it seems. Exercise is taking a higher billing on the marquee; I'm proud of it. Food is still a little spooky to me, but at least I'm getting back into considering it without my proverbial thumb in my mouth.

Kelly is going to a new vet today. I found myself in the shower going over the answers to some predictable questions. Who was her last vet? When did she last see a vet? I expect my answers to produce predictable nods, and perhaps raise eyebrows. "She last had a physical >3 years ago. When she was young, I took her to the vet every year and each one (I kept moving you see) said the same thing: `You really don't have to bring her in every year. It's not necessary. Birds will tell you when they're feeling poorly by their behavior.'" The sad thing is that I took that advice, but also knew that by the time a bird shows those kinds of signs, the problem has progressed dangerously. So. Here I am, after doing the research and discovering Dr. Chris Sanders in Portola Valley specializes in birda and reptiles and is all-hailed by the local avian community. He's also 15 minutes from home. Good thing. Will report later on eye/ear/nose/throat/cloaca/liver/blood tests.