May 10, 2005
signs

How To Know You've Turned Into The Old People In The Club
by meriko borogove, age 31

1. You recognize precisely one other person there. And he only recognizes you. And you're both grateful to recognize SOMEONE.
2. You're also both outraged. You want to know where all the whippersnappers came from. (I kid you not. We used that word.)
3. You discuss the company party you were both at earlier during the day, comparing escapades. (Embarrassing. Truly embarrassing.)
4. You pantomime using your walker while you wait for the band to come on.
5. You stand around, sleeeepy, while you slowly become closer and closer to bitterly resentful that the band you're there to see doesn't grace the stage until 12:15.
6. You stop pogoing because your knees are bugging you, not because you're going to collapse from lack of oxygen.
7. You wake up the next morning tired, but with no hangover and clear hearing. (Yes, we wore our earplugs like good oldsters.)

But nonetheless, you have a rockin' time when your fave band comes out and gets going. I telll you - noone can play the drums like Martin Atkins. Noone. (I guess getting old isn't so bad, afterall....)

Posted by shock at May 10, 2005 07:29 AM
Comments

Oh dear me.
Yeah, I feel that way too at rock shows. I knew years back that the band didn't come on until the venue had made back in alcohol sales what they had to pay out for protection. Or some such.

That bit has always gotten my panties in a knot.

About five years ago I saw a comic do a routine in the guise of Grampa Club Kid. The one line I recall (and it gets a laugh just about every time I do it):

[voice rasplevel="6"]Back in my day we didn't have crystal methamphetamine. We had to do cocaine every ten minutes. And we liked it.[/voice]

In the category of old industrial guys still banging drum - Bill Rieflin has been touring with REM the last two years. Despite having banged the skins for Ministry for some years, he just wasn't as dynamic as Old Mr. Aneurysm, Bill Berry. So sad.

Posted by: Joe on May 10, 2005 11:06 AM

Grant you, I've been complaining about late concerts and wearing earplugs since high school.

Posted by: Patrick on May 10, 2005 11:44 AM
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