You know? I have all these MEN around me.
This morning, I needed some MAN HELP.
And both my husband and my carpool failed me. Neither of them can tie a tie.
Clearly, i need to learn, and teach THEM.
Today i threw away the pillow i've had at work for the last 8.5 years. Strangely, this is a bigger milestone than it sounds.
Once upon a time, I used to spend far too much time at work. I pretty regularly slept at Apple (when you live in SF, and are only getting 5 hours away from work in a day, you want to spend them ALL sleeping, and not any commuting).
I kept a pillow and a blankie in my office, so i'd be a little more comfy crashed out. After i resolved that i was never going to sleep at Apple again, i kept the pillow and the blankie around, as a tangible reminder of that oath.
And today, i threw away the pillow.
(But i'm keeping the blankie.)
A morning and afternoon with old friends, being quiet and low-key and comfortable. Apricot-ginger scones.
Fetching my best friend and her husband from the airport, and feeling the sweet relief of her presence, and her health. Feeling that relief deepen over the next few days, allowing more space to take joy in her news, unguardedly. Experiencing the exchange of quietly-hoarded worry with bliss, and treasuring the balance-shift.
An evening dancing and drinking and chatting and laughing and other sweet things. In old San Francisco style, at an old San Francisco haunt, overlooking Grace Cathedral.
An excellent yoga class. My classes always seem to reflect back on my life, making me spot thoughts and patterns and habits, as well as finding some blessed release in the mind-body unity i find there. This week we twisted, and twisted, and twisted some more. I wonder where those lessons will pop.
Running into one of the sweetest pieces of prose written about me - the blush just keeps deepening.
Picking up a dear friend's newest book. Devouring it through dinner and a bath. (Apricot-ginger. Circles close for the evening.) It's as good as i remember it being, and beautifully set.
Lordie, i am blue today.
I came sooo close to calling in sick today, and hiding under the covers with the cat all day. But then i decided i'd just have to deal with even more on Monday, which sounded worse, so i got up.
I tried to dress myself out of the blues with a plaid swingy skirt and boots and a shirt that fits great, but that isn't much seeming to help, either.
Adam's pumping me full of coffee. All hail the bean goddess.
How do you beat the blues when they pop, inexplicably? I don't know what to FIX to make them go away...
19 days into 2004: how am i doing?
41. Go dancing. - Dark Sparkle. In hotpants & a corset, no less! 1/10/04
52. Go to a burlesque show. - Cabaret Verdalet - 1/18/04
72. Make notecards out of Russellís EtOH drawings. - First round, complete! I'm sure there will be more when i've used these up, though.
74. Make your own damned bath bombs. - First round, done! 1/18/04
25. Play more networked video games with Russell. - SSX3. More and faster
30. Manhattan Friday. Once a month. - January's is scheduled for next week.
34. Up your yoga practice to twice a week. - Haven't gotten there yet, but i have a date tomorrow to check out a studio in Cupertino, for potential lunch-time yoga.
54. Have people over for dinner at least once a month. - Heather & Tim came over for dinner before Dark Sparkle.
65. Cook at least 1 new thing a month. - Danger soup with celery root and snap peas, for Heidi & Aimee & Patrick.
68. Write more often. - Been journal-writing, again.
86. Write thank-you notes. Habitually. - Will ship off all the holiday thank you notes this week!
90. Go to the farmersí market at least once a month. - twice in January.
93. Taste 5 new single-malt scotches. - two new ones tasted thus far - a 19yo Port Ellen, and an 18yo Highland Park.
98. Flirt more. - I was flirted WITH at Dark Sparkle, but didn't know what to do. But that's the first step, right?
Much laundry has been done and folded. The kitchen cleaned and cooked in and cleaned again. Soup archived in the freezer for handy lunches. Music has been made (well, by Russell alone, but still!). Journal has been written in, calendars acquired.
And today, today bath bombs have been made! Apricot-ginger, Vanilla-almond, Orange-ginger-vanilla with lemon peel, and Rosemary-grapefruit. It's been a while since i've made a batch - i'm looking forward to them being dry, wrapping them up, and then using them over the next few weeks. Why yes, Virginia, i am a packaging whore.
Helping a friend make a kickass salad, and picking a bottle of champagne for his friend's birthday.
A lovely dinner with Russell, cooked and enjoyed at home. (Friends are lovely. Outings and adventures are truly lovely. Home sweet home is lovely, too.)
A bath, a kir framboise, a goblincat, some smut, and thou. ;)
While Monday is a federal holiday, it's not an Apple holiday.
But my boss is the coolest, and on short noticed agreed to let me take Monday off so i can spend it with Russell.
Three day weekend! Yay!
Gracious. Such an evening, full of wonderful people and fun! I was almost as productive as i wanted during the day. Made a lovely simple dinner for Heather and Tim (a very green winter veggie soup & a fancy salad). Made cocktails; Heidi joined us, and we primped and primped and primped for the Sparkle. Corset! Ribbons! Pinstripes! Oh My!
We met up with Soy and Alex, and met some of H&T's friends. And then we danced and danced and danced and finally caught a cab home at 2:30 in the morning. Things i learned tonight:
I think i was the shiniest girl in the club. I was ok with that.
I can rock the hotpants!
I am WAAAAY out of practice flirting. Aieiee - what to do when cute girls talk to you, and take your face in their hands...
I need to find us a club that plays old school industrial music...
I'm old enough that i can recognize a song, know EVERY word, and not have any idea who is it. (Witchcraft, by Book of Love.)
There's a girl in SF who is a dead-ringer for Miss Merry. She was dancing up a storm last night, but Miss Merry firmly states she has an alibi and was in Florida last night.
Lordie, am I feeling out of practice this morning. But oh, so worth it.
I miss you, Elaine.
Tomorrow (Thursday) you can find me at the bar at Citizen Cake around 4pm with a book and my journal. Please join me if you'd like!
A new-to-me shirt from Tammy, which fits me gorgeously, if i do say so myself.
Chocolate saffron body oil.
New Coach black leather, cashmere lined driving gloves.
Sometimes it's the small things that get you moving each day.
Letting myself cry at work yesterday.
Not crying at yoga until the closing oms.
An open talk with my dad.
Goblin coming upstairs to peer at dad this morning, while we worked.
I'm not much looking forward to the alarm going off so early in the morning.
I am thankful, though, for the coffee pot that will precede it.
I have managed just in the last few days to break my normal early-morning habits - it took a week and a half, which i think is nuts. But just in time to make tomorrow morning a hard one.
What an odd vacation. Elaine is gone. I did about a third of the things i wanted to, but that doesn't seem bad. So many people in our house; another New Year's Feast, come and passed. My Mom has a new diet - is struggling with a new disease, but i believe she has the strength to manage it, and manage it well.
Over the shorter term, a really lovely weekend with my husband. Naomi wrote something about close-planted trees growing together, and that's just how it feels. Just how it feels.
I'm thankful for this vacation - i can't wait for our next long break from work together. I do think i need a good two weeks to really let go.
Here we have a temporary home for poor UBVB - something's going on with the database over at bossanova. While my heroic sysadmins try and help me recover it, i have this wee temporary sanctuary so i can write a bit more. Hopefully we'll all be up on karningul with our archives safely soon!
Some folks i know don't make New Year's resolutions - instead, long lists of things to do an accomplish in the coming year. They call them "uberlists" - you can read more about them over here at Kelly Sue's place. I like the idea, so i'm giving it a shot this year. I'll check in once a month with my progress.
What sorts of New Year's thoughts & resolutions do you make?
1. Get your dream stove.
2. Plant a garden in the spring.
3. Eat more than half of what you harvest.
4. Plant a Japanese Maple in the front yard. Kill the shrub.
5. Found your nest egg. (confidential)
6. All windows have curtains.
7. Price & design a DIY-remodel of the upstairs bathroom.
8. Raise 5 more houseplants. (The lightshaft counts.)
9. Reroof the house.
10. Ditch the last of the pink carpet.
11. Refinance the house, if it makes sense.
12. Plot the kitchen remodel.
13. Buy some area rugs. Goblin doesnít like sitting on the floor.
14. See Laverne at least once a month. Drop the excuses, already.
16. Write to James. Regularly.
17. Send Tammy & Toddís postcards, when itís time.
18. Take care of Beca.
20. Cook foie gras for Russell.
21. Lend support and love to those getting married in 2004. (So many of you! Congratulations!)
22. Donít overdo it.
23. Seduce Russell while wearing boots and leather.
24. Remember peopleís birthdays. Recognize them.
25. Play more networked video games with Russell.
26. Coordinate a new couch gift for Laverne.
27. Send Michael and Sydney books.
28. Schedule a regular lunch with Carol. Keep to it.
29. Ditto for Mike.
30. Manhattan Friday. Once a month. Well, it wasn't manhattan Friday, but this turned into a great weekly lunch with William.
31. Befriend Renť.
32. Frame some Bob Art for Andrea.
33. Go to the damned dentist, already.
34. Up your yoga practice to twice a week.
35. Weigh 150 or wear size 12 jeans.
36. When done losing weight, spent the Stormy wedding gifts.
37. When done losing weight, buy a custom corset.
38. When done losing weight, commission a HMô cocktail dress.
39. Get your moles checked.
40. And that plantars wart removed.
41. Go dancing.
42. Once a month.
43. Visit Katie in NYC.
44. And James in Virginia.
45. And Little Anne in Minneapolis.
46. Visit Mom & Dad in Vegas. Eat at Nobu.
47. Take Naomi to the symphony.
48. Take the fleaclan to the Exploratorium.
49. Take a getaway with Mike & Mere before thereís a wee one.
50. Visit Japan.
51. Or maybe Germany, France, & Italy.
52. Go to a burlesque show.
53. Go on 6 picnics. I only went on 3.
54. Have people over for dinner at least once a month.
55. Have Larz & Sparky over for dinner.
56. Get that regular date with Robert and Laureen scheduled. Regularly.
57. Have Naomi, Fern & the Leckmans over for dinner.
58. Have Aimee over for dinner.
59. Throw a Ďprofessorí party.
60. Enjoy the good red wine in your cellar. Get to a 2:1 ratio of whites to reds. Thatís how you drink Ďem.
61. Finish piecing the puppy quilt. Made progress, but didn't finish.
62. Quilt the darned thing.
63. Keep litwank updated monthly, at minimum.
64. Post at least 1 recipe a month to gastronome.
65. Cook at least 1 new thing a month.
66. Collaborate with Russell on a creative project.
67. Create at least one cocktail that showcases a Hangar One vodka.
68. Write more often.
69. Fill your paper journal.
70. And another one.
71. Make lunch bags
72. Make notecards out of Russellís EtOH drawings.
73. Collaborate on some stationary design with Tammy.
74. Make your own damned bath bombs.
75. Make holiday gifts. You loved it when you did that in 2001.
76. Do a 24-hour comic
77. Finish wedding site. With photos.
78. Learn to knit. Again.
79. Complete your Pimsleur Japanese CD lessons
80. Practice with William.
81. Have a drink with Khrisí caterer friend.
82. Learn to bookbind.
83. Learn to letterpress.
84. Get better at spending money on only that which truly pleases you.
85. Take a cooking class.
86. Write thank-you notes. Habitually.
87. Send someone flowers when they most need it.
88. Invite Heather Corinna out for a drink while in MN.
89. Commission 3 pieces of art.
90. Go to the farmersí market at least once a month.
91. Send two fun things to the dance card folks.
92. Get the ska Mini.
93. Taste 5 new single-malt scotches.
94. Clean your office. Thoroughly.
95. Smile more often.
96. Pose in the Dark Garden window at Dickens Fair.
97. Have lunch with Beca in the Gapeteria. (Youíve only been talking about it for how many years?)
98. Flirt more.
99. But not too much.
100. Be less afraid of the telephone.
101. Be on time. All the time.
102. Watch your uberlist.
103. Do it again.
104. Perfect your dream gin martini.