To mix one bruised kidney for a hawaiian dick (aka a tbk):

Fill a tall, clear glass with ice. For best results, use big blocks of ice. Fill the glass full.

Add some white rum. A third of the glass full will do - unless you're trying to kill the pain.

Pour in a bunch of pineapple juice. Add a splash of ginger ale to the top. Stir up the drink.

Drizzle in (down the sides of the glass, for optimum streaky lines) some framboise (or creme d'cassis, if that's what you have, or some other dark, sticky, red liqueur). Serve immediately, garnished with a slightly battered cocktail umbrella. Maybe with a cherry.

(If you're mixing up a big pitcher of the mixer, 4 parts pineapple to 1 part ginger ale seems about right. I always booze to taste for the lucky recipient.)


Based on the original bruised kidney - vodka and french sparkling lemonade in about the same proportions, same framboise treatment.